Baby Language part 3

We celebrated our little Bean's 1st birthday this last week. It was a great day and I will blog further about it once I get some photos uploaded.

I recently went back and reread this post from a year ago. I had worried off and on about posting such honest, maybe harsh feelings, but looking back a year later I am so glad I did. I just hope that if/when she reads it someday that she will understand. If anything, I can remember myself when she has kids of her own (a loooooong time from now!) and I can help her through it when she calls me up in tears.

So, it being the anniversary of her birth as well as me becoming a mother, I thought I would share some insight that I have gained over the past year.

• I, a high-strung OCD anxiety ridden person, have developed patience and a go-with-the-flow attitude. Learning that I can't control this little person has helped me let go of a lot of my "I can control the world" tendencies.

• The nap is a beautiful thing. Not only for the kiddo but for me as well. I look forward to her nap time because I know I will get 20 minutes of uninterrupted rest. I try to sleep longer, but 20 minutes must be all my body needs because I wake up refreshed and ready to take on the rest of the day. I do find it to be a problem when I am at work, though, because 3:00 hits and I am looking for a pillow...

• There is no such thing as a Super Mom. I think there are terrific moms; I hope to become one someday. But anyone who tells you (or puts on the appearance) that she has it all together is lying.

• And along those lines, there are several methods to being a mom, and they are all right. I have read so many contradictory baby tips from different sources that I have ultimately decided that what is best for Bean and I is the best way to go. I think cloth diapers and making homemade baby food is crazy. Others would probably look at my Kirkland diapers and jars of Gerber baby food and think that I am crazy. Different doesn't necessarily mean wrong, whether it is from family to family or even child to child (because I'm pretty sure my next experience with a baby will be completely different from this experience!)

• Sesame Street is still the same great show that it was when I watched it 20 years ago. My mom would let me watch it while I had my lunch and, lately (thanks to S's discovery that she loves the show), we turn her chair to face the t.v. so she can watch it while she eats her lunch. The happenings of Abby-cadabra, Bert and Ernie, as well as the numbers and letters of the day, have crept up in mine and S's end of the day conversations.

• It's true that your sleep never quite returns to normal after having a baby. Her baby monitor is long gone and I'm over checking in on her every 2 hours during the night. (And I do sleep pretty good, considering.) But, as S will testify, the slightest noise of disturbance coming from her bedroom has me up from a sound sleep, bolting out of bed and into her room within 5 seconds.

• It is okay to ask for and receive help when you need it. S and I have been so blessed to have so many family members step up and help us out while he has been in school and I have been working. They still continue to do so on the few days that he and I both work (again we are thankful to have such family-friendly work schedules.) I can't say thank you enough to them. It has not only been wonderful to allow Bean to get to know her family better, but it has allowed both of us to keep working. (By the way, the same gratitude goes for my patient coworkers who have dealt with my odd hours at times.)

Sometimes I think I miss the freedom I had before Bean came along until, for whatever reason, she isn't around at that moment and then all I can think about is how much I miss her. Sure, the diapers get monotonous, the tantrums get annoying, but at the end of the day, she has changed my world so much that I can't bear the thought of it without her. I'm pretty sure S would agree with me.