Ideally I would have been posting this next series of posts at the end of December, but as I previously mentioned, I actually had the holiday off so I am not getting to it until now.
If you follow me on Instagram, then you know that every time I post a picture from my job in transfusion, I use the label #myotherjob. I have now been at my current full time job as stay-at-home-mommy for just over a year. And it has absolutely changed me. Here are some things I have learned from my new job.
1. Patience is a virtue...which I don't have
But I am striving to get there, I promise!
I think there is nothing more frustrating in the world than trying to convince a 2 year old that it is time to get in bed for either his nap or for the night. Especially when I am on the verge of falling asleep there on the spot. I cannot tell you how many times I use the "5...4...3..." tactic on Boy each day (at least it works!) I just read a great article the other day which, yet again, reminded me that their behavior is normal. And that I just need to take a chill pill.
I think I lose my patience, on average, more with Bean. I guess I figure that she's older and she knows better. This article I'm referring to (sorry, I didn't think to save the link) reminded me just how often each day school-aged kids have to conform to routine and it's really good to just let them chill for awhile after school. I was especially diligent to give Bean her space after school today and the evening went much, much better.
2. Money Matters
I know, I know. Talking about money is taboo. But I feel like it is such a huge part of my story this year.
S and I started off super poor when we first got married. I am grateful every single day for this. We had nowhere to go but up. I graduated and started working and was essentially the bread-winner for our family for some time. S went through school, got hired on with the fire department, and eventually took over as bread-winner. The whole transition was so seamless that I hardly noticed it. You can imagine, though, that my decision to leave work would leave a huge financial hole in our lives.
The concept freaked me out, at first. But the numbers were working somehow (I still don't know how, to be honest.) I couldn't believe it as months were going by and we were noticing very little difference to our lifestyles. Of course there were some things that we wouldn't be able to do (i.e. extravagant trips to Central America...) but at the end of the year I really didn't feel much different than I had the year before.
I think our financial success has come from four things: (a) we were so smart to buy a home that we could afford on a single income. Trust me, there were some beautiful homes that we could have afforded when we were looking, but I am so grateful that S stuck to his guns. (b) I had to give up shopping at Harmon's. I love Harmon's. This was sad at first. But as I realized Fall 2013 that our lives would be changing in the next few months, I started shopping at our local Smiths and was astounded (and a little disgusted) at how much I'd been overpaying for things at Harmon's. I have also learned to love to cut out coupons. And I got a Target Red Card. Little steps make huge differences. (c) we kept saving. Now one of the things that helped when I quit is that we had already been stocking so much of my paycheck each month into savings. We had such great momentum that we decided to keep paying into our retirement and savings accounts. It's still a big hit each spring, but we also decided to keep paying our financial adviser. I don't feel like we can afford not to. And (d) charitable contributions. I felt almost apologetic at first when my tithing checks were suddenly very, very small. It was a simple, but important, lesson to learn that Heavenly Father really doesn't care how much money I give. On months that we needed extra blessings, I paid extra fast offerings. I have such a testimony of paying tithing and fast offerings. I think S and I have both learned in our marriage that the more generous we are, the more temporal and spiritual blessing we receive when we are in need.
3. I need to take care of me.
This is so much easier said than done.
About June last year I literally almost had a breakdown. I don't know what the events were leading up to it. I know S was working a lot and I was home with the kids for days on end with no end in sight. S had a very real conversation with me, saying he could be home more if he needed to. I told him that I felt like I just needed to know that there was an adult around that would have my back! Our kids are great and everything, but most of our conversations at home revolve around fictitious Disney characters.
I've tried to do better at taking time for myself. I am trying to make the Temple more of a regular part of my life. That helps a lot!! I also try not to feel guilty when I leave the kids with someone else, even if it's just S, while I go run errands or go out with friends. I think I mentioned this before, too, but it is vital that I wake up early enough to have quiet time. I can really tell a difference when I don't.
4. I LOVE my children (and my husband ;) )
My life was always such a blur while I was working. Looking back on it, I don't know how I remained a full-time working mom for as long as I did. I am still so busy that I don't see how I ever made time to work 70 hour weeks.
I've really had to dig deep (refer to items 1 and 3 again, if needed) some days just to make it to bedtime. I've also realized that I have anger issues. I don't think I've ever yelled in my life as much as I have this year. But I realize that I am not infallible and that I'm also, probably, pretty normal.
That said, I think I've been able to realize just how awesome my kids are. When I was working full time, I don't think I allowed myself the time to just sit down and enjoy them. I love Bean's artistic creativity. I love Boy's charm. There are so many things they do and say that bring so much joy to my life. Being able to be home with them is truly an honor.
And (refer to item 3) more often than not, the adult that has my back is my dear husband S. I thought that by being home all of the time we would be able to go out all of the time, but this last year I think we were as busy as we were while I was working full time. This makes our evenings home together that much more important. We often just hang out at home in the evening after the kids go to bed--these are some of my best memories from the past year.
Of the past 10 years, I feel like this past year has gone faster than any of them. I can't believe that by the end of 2015 I will have celebrated a 13th wedding anniversary, and I will have a 3- and 6-year old. I look forward to seeing what this family of mine teaches me this year!
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