Second Time Around

Being pregnant this time has been so much more different than I could have imagined.  I know every pregnancy is different, but just as I am carrying differently, I am handling things differently, too.

We scheduled Boy's birthdate officially on the 6th of July.  We've actually had it scheduled for a month or so now.  Booking an O.R. (wow that makes it sound like I'm checking into a hotel or something) so early in advance means that I'll be the first case of the day.  This was such an advantage last time.  Doctors are fresh.  Plus I have a full day to recover.  With such advanced planning, S and I recently turned to each other and said, "You know this means he's going to come early..."



There is no denying I am more tired this time.  Partially because I am playing mom already to a very active and spirited 2-year old.  Partially because it's true: subsequent babies are bigger--I swear.  At least this one carries that way.  I will be in the middle of doing something with the Bean and I'll have to tell her that Mommy needs to lay down for a minute.  She accepts this and goes on doing what she's doing.  Awhile later she will stop what she is doing and tell me that she needs to lay down now.  It's endearing, but it does make me feel a little bad at the same time.  Luckily, being more tired is probably the only complaint I have.


I was working on some wall art to put up in Boy's room and as I was sanding I was reflecting a bit on this pregnancy. 

I remember being sort of frantic with the Bean, trying to get everything done and done perfectly.  I paid attention to every little detail.  This time days will go by and I'll wake up in the morning and think, "Wait, am I still pregnant?"  It's strange, really, that there is such a sense of calm this time.

Naturally, I am not looking forward to the early a.m. feedings.  I am trying to prepare myself mentally as best as I can to be prepared for it to be a New Baby=New Experience.  But I am looking forward to holding this little bundle of boy.  I am looking forward to dressing him in brand new adorable monkey and froggy onesies.  I am looking forward to watching him grow and explore his world. 



Perhaps I am most looking forward to the kind of relationship that he and Bean will develop.

Bean has adopted an old cabbage patch doll of mine.  She carries him around calling him by Boy's name.  I didn't suggest this idea.  She came up with it entirely on her own.  It is so sweet to see her take Bean's Boy to breakfast with her, to push him around in a stroller, to hear her say, "No, no, like this Boy!"  Or when he starts to "cry" or "get an owie" she immediately makes it all better. 

I'm not so naive to think that they will never argue and I expect to throw a few "Don't do that to your brother!"s out every once in awhile.  Maybe it stemms from growing up an only child; I am so excited for Bean to be able to be a big sister.



Just as quickly as the third trimester aches and pains with Bean's pregnancies faded soon after her birth, they have immediately been brought back to memory with Boy's pregnancy.  I know that it will be over soon but I still wonder how in the world I can possibly stretch any further in the weeks to come.  But I still find myself being amused by watching hands and feet make their way across my belly.  Pregnancy is one of the strangest, most wonderful things I've ever experienced.