Hello, My Name is Emily

I received a few (okay several) sympathetic smiles as I was sustained during sacrament meeting in my new calling: nursery leader.

Technically our ward just divided.  Again.  So technically it's not like I was called back into the position.  But still, I've been back and forth on it since then.  My first reaction was: (1) either I'm just really good at it or (2) Heavenly Father still thinks I need to learn a lesson in there.  My later reaction was that I'm just not qualified to do anything that involves anyone over the age of 3.  But my reaction today was that it is a calling that fits like a glove and I know what I'm doing so maybe they just need someone in there while this new ward gets grounded.  Plus, I will be bringing Boy with me in a few months and I found that having Bean in there with me was a huge advantage in getting to know her peer group, so hopefully this will be the same.  I still find myself saying 'hi' to all of Bean's buddies. 

But yes, it's true: I did initially think "Wow, I'm just not good enough to be in any sort of important calling."  Which is too bad because I've been reminded all too much lately how damaging it is for us, especially women (especially SAHMs--which I do consider myself one, half of the time) to compare ourselves to other people. 

Which takes me to my next point...

I found this article and shared it on facebook not too long ago.  It is so spot on with everything I've felt for, oh, the last 4 years or so.  I hope you will take time to read it (I linked up again for convenience.)

Now if I might add on my own two cents:

It's true that I am, like, physically tired ALL of the time.  But I am also Tired of being compared, usually passively--and usually on facebook--to a perfect mom.  (Who, by the way, doesn't exist.  Everyone has their skeletons...)  The obvious choice would be to quit blogging, quit facebook, and quit pinterest.  But these days that is honestly becoming impractical too.  After all, blogging is the only form of record keeping that I do, and the only way that I remotely know what's going on in others' lives (especially if they live far away.)  And the positives of having a facebook account definately outweight the negatives (though I am still probably a little crazy for giving S full access of mine--he having deleted his.)  And don't even suggest that I delete my Pinterest account because that's just crazy.

So maybe the only practical thing I can do is share an article like this and say that, I too, find raising young kids incredibly challenging.  Like, give me a 10 hour long antibody workup because at least at the end of a work day, I can pass that along to somebody else.  Child-rearing is 24/7.  Even if you aren't physically around your children, you are still dealing with logistics and concern over their welfare.  

And to the 'holier than thou's out there: guess what?  I, too, try to fit some type of fruit or vegetable into my kids' diets most times.  But you know what?  There are some days that the closest thing to a vegetable that Bean eats are curly fries from Arby's.  And you know what?  I'm not a terrible parent, either.  (I have actually found myself chanting that in my head as if it is sort of a mantra.  Now if you hear me saying it outloud, I am probably close to reaching my breaking point and you might want to watch my kids for 20 minutes so I can go have a power nap.)

I belive we are in the middle of some sort of social-media epidemic where perfection is the standard and anything below that means failure.  I'm sure that everyone has always had their agendas but social media makes it so much more easy to shove those agendas and ideals down others' throats.  (I sincerly hope I don't do this.  If I have, it isn't my intention: sometime I get a little passionate.  In case you couldn't tell.)  Anyway, I am so grateful when I find articles like this because it makes me want to shout from the rooftops: Oh thank goodness, there are some normal people left in this world!!  And immediately share it through every avenue I know of.