I love running. I love running outside, especially, but with 2 small kids I am currently an indoor treadmill runner. But the feeling is the same. I am not the fastest nor most graceful runner. I run to work through my frustration. I run to stay healthy. And I run to prove a point to myself.
You see, ten years and two days ago (Thanksgiving Eve 2003) I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. I was told that I would be lucky if I graduated from college, possibly wouldn't be able to keep up with the demands of children, and would likely be in a wheelchair in my 40s. I was offered a handicap placard for my car and I politely declined. I should mention that my neurologist tends to be a pessimist. Granted, he sees the worst of the worst and I know a thing or two myself about being jaded from work circumstances. But after seeing firsthand what happens when people in my situation just sort of--give up--I vowed to never be one of those people.
I don't mean to make light of the disease, it can be very devastating. The journey hasn't all been roses. I've had to tolerate the horrific side-effects of steroid therapy. I've unfortunately been discriminated against (which is why I've been vague up until now.) And I still find myself fighting fatigue and partial numbness. But I think so much of how a person deals with the blow of receiving life-altering news will determine the course their life will lead. So just to prove a point, I kept teaching dance while I finished my last year of college with the best GPA I'd had in 4 years. I started a full-time career, which was LARGELY against the advice of this neurologist. (Incidentally, I've stopped scheduling my appointments with him.) And I've had two children. And I run.
I am grateful to have this illness. I think it has made me the person that I am today. I am grateful to have overcome so many odds. I am grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who has answered a lot of prayers, both by me and on my behalf. I am grateful for medicine and for the miraculous affects it has had on my body. I have currently failed all of my injection therapies, meaning I can't tolerate them anymore, but there is an 'experimental' (meaning non-FDA-approved but it's perfectly safe) treatment that I am currently thriving on. So no more shots. I am VERY grateful for that. I am grateful for inspired science and I hope every day that there will someday be a cure. How awesome would it be to say someday, 'Yeah, I used to have MS...'
2 comments:
Emily - I have so enjoyed reading all of your gratitude entries this week. I just wanted you to know how grateful I am that I can call you my daughter-in-law. You are totally awesome and We love you bunches!!!! Mom Hall
You are awesome! I agree with Mom!! And you are way awesome to run! I wish I was in love with it like i used to be. Blah...that's me. And way to show that pessimistic doctor. You should send him postcards periodically ;)
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